Watching the Filmfare Awards show is like confirming that the earth is a sphere. If there is anything more predictable than the awards, it is Mulayam Singh Yadav declaring that inflation in India is a BJP/Hindutva conspiracy (I am quite surprised he hasn’t said it yet). Since the time Filmfare awards started getting competition from Star, Screen, Sony and god knows which awards, the film industry has officially embraced groupism of the kind only seen in schools. Which is not really surprising. Bollywood is a massive mutual admiration society in which you earn respect as you touch feet. In many ways it is like politics - rank outsiders have to go on proving themselves till they earn respect, and the more they become successful, the more they start looking like the insiders.
I am not a fan of movie award nights, but this time I was attracted by a couple of good jokes by Imran Khan and Ranbir Kapoor in the promo snippets. As it turned out, that’s all they were – a Couple of good jokes. Aesthetically the show was as boring as it can get - film stars dancing to their own or others’ songs. In any case, I switched on to see who wins what and I must admit that Filmfare managed to fool me. Almost. Though Udaan managed to get some well deserved awards, I would have shaved my head if it got the best movie award. To the uninitiated, the best movie award is actually not the biggest award in Bollywood. That honour belongs to the “Best Actor Award”, being the individual worshipping and male dominated society that we are. In spite of that, did it surprise anyone that Dabang, our excuse for entertainment, and our confirmation that we can’t tolerate intelligent movies was declared numero uno?
I don’t intend to make this a post mortem of the awards night.. (actually I do). So let me do this earnestly.
1. Sonakshi Sinha winning the best debut (female) award – What was the competition? Some unknowns such as Sandeepa Dhar, famous but not connected Prachi Desai? Did you really expect anyone else to win?
2. Kareena Kapoor as best supporting actor (female) for ‘We are family’ – Can any award which has His Excellency Karan Johar gracing it, be without an award for madam Kareena Kapoor?
3. Ranveer Singh as best debut actor (male) – Dude, your biggest qualification was being part of a Yash Chopra Production. So stay grounded.
4. Best “Debut” Director – Manish Sharma for Band Baja Baraat – Now this is an award created solely for the purpose of not robbing people like Karan Johar of the Best Director award.
5. Best Director – Karan Johar (for My name is “Ham” Khan) – now you know who really owns Filmfare
6. Best Actor (male) – Shahrukh “Ham” Khan (for My name is “Ham” Khan)– you know that he and Karan Johar lick each other’s ***
7. Best Actor (female) – Kajol for…… for ? for ?? My name is idiot if you haven’t guessed so far
8. Best film? Now since the biggest mutual admiration society of Bollywood had ‘accepted’ enough awards, it was time to award someone ‘different’. So Messrs Munni and her hubby, heirs to the mutual admiration society throne gladly accepted the award. In any case, it is not the most important award in the industry, as I have enlightened you earlier. Hence Messrs Johar and *** lickers were happy to relinquish it.
The Filmfare awards (or any other) awards are a reflection of Indian society at large. Giving nods to talent here and there, but ultimately confirming the status quo of powerful families and their yes men. I was happy not to see Aamir Khan among the pack. Some advice to the winners:
Shah Rukh and Hrithik – Try to deliver in movies directed by non entities and in scripts that don’t lionize your characters.
Sanjay Leela Bhansali – If you want to make movies with Victorian setting, pls choose actors, scripts and sensibilities that match the locales.
Karan Johar – Pls retire
The more I see shit from mainstream Bollywood, the more I admire Aamir, the real Khan among the many ‘also Khan’. Only he could support a Peepli Live and a Dhobi Ghaat amidst all the mush of Johar and Bhansali. Keep going dude. Dil Chahta hai.
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