Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Theorems, Axioms, Postulates, Corollaries, Hypotheses and Beliefs

These are entirely my creation and any sense of déjà vu is simply because they are true.

1.    Your computer screen will hang up when you are doing personal work and your boss walks up behind you
2.    Your boss reaches office on time the day you are late
3.    An indecent mail forward will pop up when you are presenting spreadsheets on a projector
·         Corollary: The likelihood of getting an obscene mail increases in direct proportion to the number of people in the conference room
4.    Your computer will crash the day you delete the backup data on the USB drive to make space for new movies
5.    The only sex scene in an alien invasion movie comes when your mom walks into the room
·         Corollary: You will grab the wrong remote in an attempt to switch channels
6.    The probability of an unscheduled medical checkup is directly proportional to the cigarette and alcohol consumption during the previous day
7.    The price of the hot selling electronic gadget will fall after your buy it
8.    There will be a salary revision in the company after your resignation
·         Corollary: There will be a freeze on salary revision in the company that you join
9.    The review meeting will get cancelled on the day you are best prepared to handle the questions.
10. ‘Indian fast bowler’ is an oxymoron
11. The probability of something being ‘leaked’ by Wikileaks is directly proportional to its existing universal acceptance
12. There is no correlation between crude oil prices and petrol prices
·         Hypothesis: Petrol prices will always rise
13. Definition of Stagflation: An economic condition where food price increase is accompanied by reduction in the portion served.
·         Hypothesis: By 2013 Dominos Pizza will be a plain round piece of bread for which toppings and cheese need to be ordered at extra cost
14. Definition of Economic Crisis: Default state of the world economy interrupted by short periods of growth
15. A ‘one way’ road is always the wrong way when you are in a hurry
16. 92% of all Chartered Accountants will mention their qualification in their wedding invitation
·         Corollary: 8% of Chartered Accountants are not married
17. The ‘wedding’ in ‘The Big Fat Indian Wedding’ is a verb, not a noun
18. New programs keep up with the processor speed
·         Corollary: Computers will never get faster
19. The likelihood of finding life on another planet is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it
20. No matter what you do, you will never have an updated version of Adobe Acrobat

1 comment:

  1. FACTS!!!!

    Can add a few more. Like it would rain hard making pools of water everywhere the day you get your car professionally today :(